season 4... a rant by Dave

so... 

Season 4 started a few weeks back. Daniel and I talked about reviewing episodes as Inkbastards again; it really is fun to do. I get a real kick out of Daniel's writing. He has a quick, sick wit that I can't duplicate, especially "on paper" (he's just silly in person), but he's a super busy guy and getting him to do every other episode last season was like pulling teeth (don't even ask about that round-robin story we started writing together 5 or 6 years ago...). And then getting the screen caps... that's a lot of work there, let me tell you. I am not myself experiencing a wealth of free time either, this internet porn isn't going to watch itself. Seriously though, business at my shop is pretty good right now, plus I've got some great animation and other art projects going that take up most of my time.

THAT BEING SAID... we discussed parring it down, trying to write smaller reviews. We got together to watch the second episode. Daniel had said to bring my laptop, but I didn't. I decided for us, after being asked by a few readers to bring the reviews back, to which I had said it was up to Daniel. This decision goes hand in hand with another decision regarding Ink Master. You see, after watching the first season I wrote Spike TV about wanting to be a contestant on the show, just before they started casting out nets to find artists for the show, I did a phone interview, and later went to a casting call. I was one of over 200 people at this casting call, and there were 4 total, plus video auditions, so there were probably 1,000 people clamoring to get on the show. I was not surprised at all that I didn't make the roughly 1 in 50 odds. Anyone who knows me can attest to my lo-key personality. The only things I could really say was that I was an out, gay artist... and that I have zero ability to hide it if I really don't like somebody. Fast-forward two years... Ink Master casting contacts me about trying out for season 5, days before the premiere of season 4. I think about it... I know I am a better artist than some of these people on this show, this would be great exposure, just as I thought 2 years back. Plus, after developing cute nick-names for Auntie Navarro, Banjo Kazooey, and Everybody's Disapproving Father, I felt like I might have some secret sarcastic armor against their nasty, critical slings and arrows. I decided to go through the casting ritual again.

AND THEN THIS HAPPENED:

Randy Vollink

Seriously. This is the first gay tattooist on Ink Master. The guy SUCKS. Plus, he is whiney, and throws someone unnecessarily under the bus A.S.A.P.. Casting chose to use someone who has no redeeming qualities to represent gay tattooists to the audience. Instead of someone who you might say, "hey, that guy may be gay, but he's a pretty good artist... and a cool dude too!" about, he's only there to point and laugh at.  I mentioned this on my facebook page, and surprisingly, he had some defenders. I would hope that would not be the case after week 4, when the inevitable happened. Randy was being read, and deservedly so, for a ghawd-awfull tattoo. He interrupts the judges to whine about how hard it is to be a gay man in the tattoo world. He ultimately is eliminated for this crap-tastic tattoo, but still refuses to listen to the judges telling him it is not because he is gay. As he exits the stage, he astonishingly jabs in at Nunez "BTW, my boyfriend doesn't think you are hot!"... did he really go there? Reading Randy's twitter feed, he'd have you believe that he was made to look bad in editing. Probably so, but they could only edit material that you gave them, sir.

What does that do to my wanting to get on the show? I realized that the people who are the gate-keepers to this magical realm of reality competition participation are the very same people who put Mr. Vollink up on the Ink Master cross, knowing he'd hand Nunez and Peck the spikes to drive through his hands. Those are the very people I blame for this bullshit, and I don't want to deal with those jackals. As for the show, maybe season 4 will get better now, who knows, maybe I can enjoy it now enough to want to blog about it.